WHERE TO LIVE (Part 3)
By Betty Simon
September 25, 2010
The previous two parts to this story covered different phases in my life and different places I have lived. Part 1 and Part 2 covered college days, and two marriages followed by a move from Walnut Creek to San Francisco.
This is a story about living at 2659 Leavenworth Street in San Francisco covering 17 years--from 1978 to 1995. I had a job in downtown San Francisco in the financial district as an administrative secretary in a large corporation. I begin my story in 1980 when I married my third husband, Leonard Simon, whom I met while taking the bus from work one day.
We loved living in the flat. It was spacious with lots of light and close to bus stops which we used to travel around the city. The flat was two blocks from Ghirardelli Square and Fisherman’s Wharf, a couple of blocks to the Embarcadero, and a few more blocks in the other direction to the Marina Green. The buildings on that block were elbow to elbow so we had some interesting neighbors to contend with.
On one side of our building was a Chinese woman whose husband had left her shortly after I moved in. They had awful, loud rows before he left—she yelling loud enough at him for me to hear. I could not understand what she was saying because it was in Chinese, but I am sure there were plenty of swear words directed at him. Once he left, we could hear her pounding and pounding, repeating at the top of her voice her lamentations in Chinese. At first I thought she was just pounding meat with a cleaver, but I think she was venting her anger over and over again while in her kitchen even after he was gone. She was not a friendly woman, either. If we saw her on her back porch and she saw us, she would retreat back into her kitchen.
Both buildings had gardens in the back, and she would often be out there watering. She always carried her purse over her arm at the same time holding a hose in the other. If we appeared outside in our garden at the same time she was there, she would scurry back into her garage. We would just chuckle at her need to retire into her domain, and we did not take it personally.
Our garden was a source of pleasure for us, and we were usually out there on weekends weeding or planting or watering. I always had flowers to bring into the house, especially the beautiful peace roses we planted and espaliered on the back of the building, and the huge Meyer lemon bush in the center of the yard produced lemons year round.
Our Chinese neighbor was temperate compared to the gypsy family of five living on the other side at the garden level. The children were completely undisciplined, did not know right from wrong. The two small boys thought it was great fun to climb the seven-foot high fence to get to our yard where they picked green tomatoes from my plants, or just threw small toys as well as coins over the fence onto our yard. They broke a window which was at ground level, and the baby sitter took some bricks from our yard and stacked them in theirs. I was not used to unbridled bad behavior. I can let some things go, but this caused me to march to their apartment door on several occasions to complain, once hauling the junk back to the parents. I did, however, feel compelled to keep the thrown coins. When I confronted the father one day, his answer was “What am I going to do? I beat them.” What could I say to that?
These two neighbors were just a minor blip in an otherwise happy time we had together. We cooked, entertained, rode the bus to work together, attended the symphony, walked the neighborhood, and often rode our bicycles to the Marina Green and Embarcadero.
The comfort and happiness we had living on Leavenworth Street finally came to an end when the Italian landlady and her family decided to sell the building. After all, we were paying rent under rent control, and the family was not getting what the market rate was in 1995 for a two-bed room flat. At the end our rent was only $650 a month where it should have been at least $1400.
We graciously waited out the prospective buyers coming through on Sundays until finally the word was, “It was sold.” The Italian family was out. A Chinese family was in. I wondered if the new tenant could make friends with our neighbor.
We moved on to another apartment in San Francisco at #1 Townsend Street in a high-rise building south of Market across the street from the new ballpark. I retired from my last job in 2000 at age 70, and we moved on to Santa Rosa where I am today.
Living in the Leavenworth flat was the very best place at the very best time of my life, and I will always have memories of it being my favorite home.
Successful Aging
By Rabon Saip
September 25, 2010
The following was delivered as a monthly “Member Spotlight” presentation at the May 2010 general meeting of the Successful Aging in Sonoma County Initiative. The primary project of this organization at that time was working on programs for the prevention and treatment of prescription drug and alcohol misuse among our aging population. We have since expanded our coalition to include a focus on all aspects of what we will continue to learn about and define as Successful Aging.
Good morning and thank you for this opportunity to share my story. I will begin by telling you that my life has been largely defined by the fact I was born “legally blind,” a fact for which I am somewhat grateful. Without this condition I would not have had the quality and variety of experiences that have made me who I am and brought me here today.
I migrated from Georgia to California as a child during WW II, with my Southern Belle mom and a serviceman stepfather. I managed to graduate San Rafael High School, but was frustrated by unsuccessful attempts at college. There was no facility for my disability at that time and my “blind man’s bluff” didn’t work out as well in college as it had in high school.
During my young life I held a variety of jobs: construction labor, factory worker, janitor, waiter, bartender, dance instructor, and so on. Then, in 1965, as a single parent caring for my four year old son and desperate for work, I was unexpectedly blessed with an opportunity to go study with a violin making guru who lived in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.
In the process of learning from this remarkable man, working with the fundamentals of sculpting stringed instruments - violin, cello, bass, and guitar - I entered into a magical dimension far beyond basic carpentry.
My discovery of Creative Process was a spiritual experience that changed my life. It was amazing. My highest high, with no drugs involved, only the joy of pure participation. I found the miracle of timelessness and selflessness; where one actually becomes the tool one is using, where one actually becomes a blessed unity of boundless energy and mysterious guidance; where involvement is fluid and thoughtless, and one is never, ever alone. I had a sublime awakening that would stay with me and guide me for the rest of my life.
But, with a young family to feed I soon realized that in order to sustain a living I would have to greatly expand my woodworking activity. Over the next twenty-five years I built cabinets, designed and built furniture, made toys, restored antiques, recycled quality items, and eventually wound up on the West Coast Art Show Circuit as an artisan with some innovative and successful designs.
But then, in 1991, with the advent of computer technology, I discovered the magic window I needed to fulfill my life long dream of higher education. At 56, I understood how to combine my life experience and knowledge of Creative Process with academic purpose. I went joyfully through college and grad school and had completed course work for a doctorate in clinical psychology by 1997. I cannot stress enough the advantages of being an older student.
During those years of various clinical internships; training and working as a drug and alcohol treatment counselor at Orenda Center, working with families through Child Protective Services, and with Student Psychological Services at SRJC, I also became involved as volunteer faculty at SSU, facilitating Learning Community, an alternative model of adult education. I also had a deeply gratifying opportunity to train and work at Hospice. I also facilitated a Circle of Earth Elders at New College of California; learned the software I needed to create my own web-page (eldertimes dot org) and had some inspiring revelations about the value of intergenerational communication. I still intend to pursue my dream of an intergenerational learning community here in Sonoma County. This is related to my concern that the coming Age Wave of boomers can be either a disaster or a blessing, either segregated by fear or integrated with love.
But the years went by so quickly. In my excitement I hardly noticed that I was passing through my 60s and into my 70s; then, I came to some essential realizations about age, generativity, commitment and freedom. I’ve come to understand that beyond the mold of cultural conditioning, there is a natural force of conscious aging, a life stage gift of learning that will have its way with you, IF you are wise enough to allow it.
I am here today because as a young man I went through a period of severe drug addiction, followed by years of alcoholism. This coming August I will have 29 years of sobriety. I am also here today because I believe our society is, in many ways, suffering from a form of ‘juvenile paralysis,’ and maybe, just maybe, with the coming of so many aging adults that we can help to become sober and confident elders, our society will grow up a little. Perhaps, someday, enough of these elders will express what I like to call “a mature lust for sanity” and help us to find our true potential. I am here today because I believe in what we are doing. Thank you.